FAITH IS THE ANSWER

There have been so many times in my life when I have been stuck in a cloud of doubt and despair. The conditions of my life have been such that I have often not been able to see my way through. I have struggled when what I really needed to do was to just let go.

The beauty of my unfolding life is that I have discovered I am not alone. So many people I have since encountered have shared a similar experience. Yet they have found a way out of it. They have discovered that faith is the answer. I have also discovered that for myself.

I have had to let go of my fears and embrace a belief in the power in the universe that can and does guide me to a higher place. My own fragile ego has thought it could handle impossible situations. That has never been enough. In fact, it has often led me astray. I have had to learn to trust in the spirit that resides within us all. That spirit can always provide the answer.

It has been a matter of learning to trust in that Source. It has been a matter of turning to it and asking what I can do to prevail. I have had to turn to it for guidance to show me the way to go. As the website, The Divine Speaks, says: I have had to ask where I should go, what I should do, who I should talk to, and what I should say. In so doing, it has taken a tremendous burden off me.

Like a little child, I have had to believe that I can never be guided wrong if I go within to find the answers. This has required me to place my faith in that power greater than myself. By relaxing, breathing, and letting go of my worries, I have been able to see clearly what is mine to do. The rest I have had to turn over to Source to provide the outcome.

It has not always been what I had hoped for. That is the mystery of life. My ego likes to project what the outcome will be. The truth is that my ego doesn't know what best serves my spirit. I am on a journey of discovery that has often led me to unexpected places.

Such has been the case with my writing. I had never expected to be an author. Yet now, I have written a total of thirteen books, two of which have been published. That has been an unexpected miracle in my life. It was the outcome of me asking Source what my life purpose was.

As a young man, I was concerned with being a successful businessman. I wanted to become a millionaire before I was thirty. As I matured, I have learned to become more concerned about my fellow man and woman. I have become a person who has learned to look beyond selfish desires. This has become my primary quest in my writing. I am on a mission to wake up people to their own spirits.

The way I am striving to do this is to show people that joy is the pathway to freedom. My books are designed to make people laugh. They are also designed to make people take a look at themselves and to see how they can become aligned with their intrinsic values. In so doing, they will have the ability to let go of those negative qualities we all possess in order to follow a more positive path.

My character, Sister Mary Olga Fortitude, asks people to follow the Golden Rule: to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. This, in and of itself, is an act of trust and faith. It requires searching within for the answers. Try it. Perhaps you will find the same freedom I have found for myself. That is my wish for each and every one of you.

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

THE JOURNEY TO SANITY - Part 2

Shortly after I asked my wife for a divorce, I met a beautiful man and began what seemed as if it would be a relationship that would last forever. It did last for a very long time. It's just that nothing in this life is written in stone.

After years of spending my life as a sex addict, I thought the lure of that addiction would finally be broken once I met a man to whom I was attracted. I certainly loved him. Unfortunately, love is never enough when it comes to the void within the addict that nothing outside of him or herself can ever fill.

I pledged to remain monogamous to him, but it was only a matter of time before the spell was broken. After my first few slips, I fell into another suicidal depression. Once again, I weathered it out without reaching out for help. Then, after a few months, it disappeared. I was back on top of the world again. Life seemed absolutely fabulous. The only problem was that I was acting out sexually more than ever. That would remain my dirty little secret.

The following years would unfold in a similar pattern. I would plunge into depressions that would be followed by emotional highs. Fortunately, the depressions were not as devastating as my earlier ones. That was a blessing that would not last. The zinger lay ahead.

On October 19, 1987, I attempted to hang myself. Realizing that I didn't want to have my partner find my body hanging from a noose, I somehow managed to undo the knot as I struggled to keep from dangling from it. Once free, I took an overdose that should have knocked out a horse. As my good fortune would have it, I had developed an amazing tolerance to substances. I had become an active alcoholic in deep denial and I only ended up turning into a zombie.

I spent the next three weeks on a psychiatric ward where I had my first encounter with a psychiatrist. He turned out to be a loser. Every morning, the waiting room would be filled with his patients. One by one, we would be called in to see him where he would spend all of one to two minutes before sending us back to the ward. The medication I had been put on took away my suicidal inclinations, but I still felt miserable.

Finally, I was released to the care of my partner and I soon returned to work. I was ashamed of my hospitalization and kept it a secret. I went into work where I felt totally incompetent to carry out my duties. Somehow, I carried on.

Eventually I came out of my stupor and began to feel as if I was invincible. Once I had reached that point, I began to drink like a fish. The end of my alcoholic career was dramatic. I drank more and more each day until it was an around-the-clock love affair with the bottle. The thing that brought me to my senses was when my partner left me since he couldn't handle watching what I was doing to myself or the damage it was having upon our relationship.

It also opened a door that I was about to walk through that would bring me into the next phase of my journey to sanity. On April 5, 1988 I had my last drunk. The following day I went to my first meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. That would take care of the drinking problem, but a new problem was about to emerge.

Author Davis Aujourd'hui