Thursday, June 23, 2011


Do you feel alone and isolated? Do you feel as if you are the only person in the world? If you do, the answer is to join the human race.

You are each unique; but, underneath it all, you are the same. You are part of the whole of all creation. Yet to feel that way, you need to join hands and embrace your common humanity.

It is said that no man is an island. You do not need to do it alone. When you join with your brothers and sisters, you will feel a part of something greater than yourself.

Some people choose to say that is God. Some people simply experience it as being part of a family or group. Whatever is the case for you, allow yourself to share in the group experience.

Try to see your common identity with people that you might judge to be different than yourself. You will be amazed at the common bond you will feel. When you stop focusing on differences, you will align yourself with something that is greater than yourself. It will be a liberating experience.

To remain isolated and separate from the whole, your ego will lead the way. This will only lead to conflict. You will not remain at peace.

Do you want to find freedom? Do you want happiness? If that is the case, step aside from your ego. Identify and relate to others instead of comparing yourself against them. That only leads to judgment and a false sense of reassurance.

If someone has harmed you, do as Jesus said and turn the other cheek. That's not to say, let them walk all over you. Just walk away from the conflict and offer up love and forgiveness.

To take on a resentment, will only keep you locked in a prison of your own making. It will become a poisonous brew that will only hurt yourself. You deserve freedom. You deserve joy.

Allow yourself to align with that greater spirit that unites us all. That is the pathway to peace, freedom, and joy. That is the way to join humanity and become part of the human race.

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

Checkout Author Davis Aujourd'hui new Kindle  "Putting the Pieces Together" for $2.99

"Putting the Pieces Together” is an anthology of a gay man's journey toward self-acceptance. It is a poignant and intimate book chronicling recovery from mental illness, sexual addiction, and alcohol.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Author Davis Aujourd'hui on the Radio - the lets talk mom - the-radio-show

June 2, 2011 Broadcast

GuestsDavis Aujourd’hui, a retired social worker and author of "Babes in Bucksnort"; TS Wiley discusses results of a new study on estrogen and breast cancer aggression.

Topics Covered Page views; Intrepid Museum; Visiting Mars; Martians don’t talk; Bucksnort, Tennessee; 11 books in the series; Pronunciation and photo; Social worker for adult needs; Phillip’s look on the website; Yes, it’s obviously Phillip; Positive mental attitude toward healing; Estrogen and progesterone; Vascular effects; The Standard of Care; Estrogen in cream form; Wiley Protocol

“Who Sez That?!?” Frying pan handle and juice bowl.

To Listen to Broadcast click here - Scroll down to June 2, 2011 and there will be the recording!

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

June is Gay Pride Month - CELEBRATE DIVERSITY

This is a guest post from a good friend of mine who is extremely talented. 
By joseph c. knudson

Have you ever felt as if you were the only person like yourself in the whole world? Guess what? You are. Each of you is a unique expression of the human experience. Your task is to embrace all that you are and to celebrate yourself.

Perhaps you’re in a minority group. You might be African-American, Asian, Latino, or gay. Perhaps you just feel as if you were a nerd. Some of the most famous people in history felt that way. They didn’t let that stop them from becoming all that they could be.

Look at Albert Einstein. He didn’t begin to talk until he was four years old. Yet he went on to become the father of atomic science. He met life’s challenges on life’s terms and became one of the most famous scientists in history.

Look at Maya Angelou. She was another person who didn’t talk for many years during a childhood as an abused African-American girl. Yet she went on to become one of our nation’s most prominent poets. She also served as an inspiration to another African-American girl who had been abused as a child. That was Oprah Winfrey. She became our most celebrated television talk show host and she served to inspire countless others whether of not they may have lived lives of oppression.

Each of you possess your own unique gifts which can serve to inspire others. The challenge is to embrace yourself so that you may discover what you have to offer. Surround yourself with people who affirm you and inspire you. That is the key to self-acceptance.

I have had my own challenges with self-acceptance. I didn’t want to be gay, but I eventually learned that it was a good thing. Along the way, I struggled with things like alcoholism, clinical depression, and sexual addiction.

I worked hard at becoming a champion and I am now a published author of a series of hilarious satires. I have learned to embrace things in my past that didn’t seem funny. I have made lemonade out of lemons as I have learned how to laugh at myself. In so doing, I have created a series of books that have made my readers laugh out loud.

It takes all kinds to make the world go around. Wouldn’t it be boring if that was not the case! I ask you to celebrate yourselves and to celebrate diversity. You can each make an individual difference for the betterment of life.

Go for your joy!

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

Monday, June 20, 2011


Do you feel as if you're not the person you would like to be? Do you feel as if your life is lacking meaning? Do you feel envious of others? Worse yet, do you feel as if you were a failure? Then it's time to challenge yourself – to be all that you can be.

As a young child, you may have had dreams. Perhaps those dreams never came to fruition. Perhaps those dreams changed along the way. No matter the case, it is imperative that you come to believe in yourself. Have faith that dreams come true.

As a young child, I wanted to become famous. Life challenges prevented that from happening. That's just as well. Fame would only have fed my ego which was based upon insecurities.

I am a survivor of a traumatic childhood. I suffered from years of suicidal depressions. I am also a recovering alcoholic and recovering sex addict. Years of therapy and twelve-step programs were the key to opening up my potential to become the person I had always wanted to be. Slowly, but surely, I learned to let go of those things that didn't serve my spirit as I also came to better know myself. Then I was in a position to grow and to realize dreams.

I'm still not famous, nor do I care if I ever am. What I am now is a successful author and that manifested from another dream I'd developed along the way. If I can realize my dreams, anyone can.

All of this can come to you if you're willing to take my challenge. Surround yourself with positive people, places, and things that you can emulate. Consider things such as letting go of self-destructive behaviors, going into therapy, joining a support group, or finding a church that feeds you positive messages based upon love, not fear. Become a part of a greater community. Break out of any tendencies to isolate. Get in touch with your spirit and focus on activities that make you feel good about yourself.

It's not an easy road to overcome life challenges, but it can be done. It takes a lot of work, but it will pay great dividends. Believe that you are worth it. Then begin a little at a time. It only takes baby steps, one day at a time, to move forward in a positive direction.

Face your fears and take those baby steps toward overcoming your hangups. Nudge yourself a little at a time. You can do it. It is simply a matter of taking charge of your life. Choose not to be an observer of your life. Be a participant!

It all begins with focusing on whatever inspires you and brings you to a place of joy. As you continue to follow your joy, amazing things will begin to happen. For one thing, it will bring you to a place of gratitude. Your whole attitude and outlook on life will change. Eventually, all kinds of good things will begin to come your way.

Positive thoughts and actions will manifest in positive results. You will develop a life filled with meaning as you let go of any judgments connected to your past. Whatever has come to pass has brought you to your now. The present moment is the place to begin.

Remain true to your emerging self as you come to know who you truly are. Take a good look at yourself as you learn to become more honest. It will involve taking a look at your strengths and weaknesses.

Focus on your strengths and be gentle with yourself as you look at your weaknesses. After all, you are only human as we all are. Do not compare yourself to others. Keep the focus on yourself. The good news is that you can let go of your weaknesses and turn them into strengths as you develop more awareness of your authentic self and the self you want to be.

What's past is past. Come to appreciate and accept what has been and what is. Look with eagerness to you future. Affirm and believe, you can be all you want to be. Dreams do come true.

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

For some guidance with some challenges, I have created a Kindle E-Book call "Putting the Pieces Together" available at for $2.99 and you can purchase here

Saturday, June 18, 2011


Did you have a difficult upbringing? Perhaps your father was an alcoholic. Perhaps he wasn't supportive of you in some way. Perhaps he was overcritical. Perhaps he was an absent parent.

With the approach of Father's Day, this may be a difficult time of year for you to reconcile your feelings toward Dad. Give yourself and him a gift. Give him the gift of forgiveness.

So, you say you aren't ready? If that's the case, you're probably right. Your challenge now is to do the work that will bring you to a place of freedom. Otherwise, the past will hold you in bondage.

Did you feel rejected because you didn't like sports, weren't as favorite as your siblings, or because you were gay? Chances are, your father experienced these things too in his past. Everyone continues to act out their past on some level until they have healed themselves.

Maybe you were one of the lucky ones. Maybe Dad joined Alcoholics Anonymous and got sober. Maybe he came to value you as his gay child. Perhaps he joined Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. If this has been the case, you are truly blessed. Just remember to count those blessings and to let go of the past.

If you weren't so lucky, you will have to dig deep. Facing pain is never easy. Denial or blame is an easy defense. The problem is that you will never grow if you don't face your pain. You may also be denying yourself a chance to salvage a relationship with the man who gave you life.

Here are my suggestions to you:

 If you dad was or is an alcoholic, join Al-Anon. This is a program for family members of alcoholics. It will help you find a way to stop blaming and to open yourself to unconditional love.

 If you were traumatized by your father, seek therapy. Abuse or neglect can take place in so many forms. Forgiveness can be offered too quickly if you aren't ready to do so. You must first do the healing for yourself.

 If you were rejected or criticized by your dad, try a loving confrontation. Don't blame or accuse. Simply tell him how you felt. You never know when you can melt another's heart. Take the chance to open his and it will open yours too.

 If your father still doesn't approve of you - perhaps because you are gay; perhaps because you have an active addiction; perhaps because you are in a relationship with whom he disagrees - once again, approach him at a feeling level. Don't feel the need to explain yourself. Just let love lead the way. Don't be afraid to do this if you're a man. It takes courage. You possess it whether you realize it or not.

When you think you may be ready, you probably are. Now is the time to give the gift. Let your father know that you love him. Just as importantly, let him know you forgive him. Those will be the greatest gifts you could ever give.

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

Friday, June 17, 2011

The Ground Report India - Guest author: Davis Aujourd hui- Do You Have a Sexual Addiction?

by Jackie ONeal for The Ground Report India


One of the latest and fastest growing addictions is an addiction to sex. It is an addiction that creates a feeling of powerlessness over one's sexual behaviors and that creates unmanageability in one's life. It can create a feeling of guilt or shame. It can ruin relationships.

It is a very real addiction that releases powerful chemicals in the brain during the pursuit of sex or while having it. It is not unusual for sex addicts to have problems with other addictions, though that is not always the case. It is a progressive disease whereby the sex addict needs to engage in increasingly more dangerous behaviors in order to get a thrill.

For some, it is not about cheating on partners. For these it may be an addiction to pornography. For others, it may be an addiction to internet hookups. The behaviors are not necessarily the same, but the end result is. Sex and fantasy about it interfere with a person's ability to lead a happy and productive life.

The good news is that help is available. A growing number of therapists are beginning to specialize in the dealing with this addiction. There are also a number of twelve-step programs that have helped sex addicts achieve freedom from sexual addiction. Not all areas of the country will have all of the programs available. The good news is that some of these programs have on-line or telephone meetings for those areas where there are no established meetings.

You will find that some of these programs may be a better fit for you than others. Some are more rigid. Some allow you to come to your own definition of what is a sexually healthy life for you. Here are some programs into which you can inquire:

Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA)

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA)

Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (SCA)

Sexaholics Anonymous (SA)

Below, I have created a self-quiz for you to decide whether or not you may have a problem. That is for you to decide, but if you have answered yes to three or more questions, you may want to seek help.

Now try my self test:

1. My sexual behaviors have ruined relationships.

2. I find sex with others more exciting than sex with my partner.

3. My sexual behaviors have created unmanageability in my daily life.

4. I spend a lot of time on the computer looking at pornography or looking for hookups.

5. My sexual behaviors sometimes interfere with me meeting my responsibilities.

6. I spend a lot of time fantasizing about sex.

7. I try to control my sexual thoughts and behaviors.

8. I like to have sex more frequently than does my partner.

9. I have felt guilty about or ashamed of my sexual behaviors.

10. I use sex to medicate my feelings or to relieve stress.

About Author Davis Aujourd'hui :

Davis Aujourd'hui is creator of the highly- rated and hilarious Sister Mary Olga Fortitude- a series of nine books centered on religious and social satire.

He is a retired social worker, having worked for Adult Protective Services in New York. He said it enabled him to become a student of the human condition. While doing so, he developed the characters in his books in order to entertain a colleague of his using the gift of humor. He is socially-minded and spirituality, he says is the most important ingredient for him in order to maintain a happy and successful life.

Tags: Sexual Addiction , Sex Addicts , Sex Addict Anonymous , Sex And Love Addicts Anon , Sexual Compulsion , Sexaholics Anonymous

Friday, June 10, 2011


Love one another as you would love yourself. Wouldn't it be a perfect world if you could do it! The good news is that, with practice, you can. It is simply a matter of following what your heart tells you to do.

So, you've had challenges in your pasts. The question is, what can you do to undo the damage of what has come before? It's very simple. Just seek out the person who you may have wronged and apologize. If that person can't accept your apology, don't react. Just accept that the person is not in the place to forgive yet. Don't let your ego get in the way. Let it go.

This has been a life-long lesson for me and I still have a way to go, but I'm getting better with each passing day. What I've had to do is to remember that I'm only human. Then I've had to forgive myself for my errors of omission or commission. I encourage you to do this too.

Self-forgiveness is the first step toward freeing yourself from the trap of judgment. Without practicing it, you will only continue to beat up yourself. You can be your own worst enemy. Choose a better way. Freedom can be yours.

Look on the light side of life and realize that you are only human too. Nobody is perfect except within their souls. That's the place from which you want to draw in order to practice unconditional love. That means to accept the other person no matter who they are or what they do.

If someone slights you in some way, turn the other cheek. Don't let your ego react. Recognize that the other person is only human too. Remember all the loving qualities that person possesses. The pathway to unconditional love is not easy, but it's, oh so, rewarding. At all times, remember The Golden Rule.

Another important key to being in the right place to practice this important rule is to remain aware. Don't let your troubles stand in the way. Take time out to let them go. Spend some time meditating, go for a walk, or do anything that distracts you. Stay in the present moment. Then remember that life is good and that it's supposed to be about joy.

The most important thing is to not let anything take you away from your joy. If you can do that, nothing will ruffle your feathers. You may even see the humor in difficult situations. Just remember not to laugh inappropriately. That might just spell out trouble. Keep the joke to yourself unless you are sure it will entertain another.

Perhaps the most important lesson that Jesus taught was The Golden Rule. If only everyone practiced it, we wouldn't need The Ten Commandments. Lead the way by the power of your example. It will inspire others to follow suit.

Just continue to remain aware. Continue to affirm that you can do it. Then put it into practice. The rewards will be amazing. You will remain on the path of freedom and lead others to follow you. You can do it. Now is the time to begin!

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

Thursday, June 9, 2011


Most of us have different lifestyles, religions, ethnic groups, cultures, and politics to name a few. By embracing the diversity of others, you will open new doors of understanding. You will create an atmosphere of tolerance that will help you to appreciate the uniqueness of others. It may also help them to appreciate you.

Respect breeds respect. It is only a matter of detaching from what you believe to be true and being open to learning. After all, life is a great teacher. It will lead to wisdom that will help you to navigate the waters of what can sometimes be a difficult journey.

Many of you have experienced prejudice in one form or another in your lifetime. You may be a member of a minority race. You may be gay. The list could go on and on.

For me, I have experienced prejudice as a redhead, as a gay man, and as a sex addict who is gratefully in recovery. I used to take on those judgments and feel “less than.” I choose not to allow that anymore. I recognize that I am a unique human being as each of you are. I celebrate who I am. You can do that too. You are deserving of respect and love and to offer that to others.

Unfortunately, you will not find that from everyone. That is because it is human nature to judge. Some people just don't like people who are different than themselves. Don't let that be your problem. Let is be theirs. Chances are, they don't like themselves very much. Perhaps you can just offer them a prayer and then let it go.

Now comes the real challenge. Look deep within yourself to see where you have judged others. It is amazing the different forms of prejudice that have contaminated each of you along your life journey. Choose to embrace an open attitude of tolerance. Also practice awareness of your thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs.

It will be amazing to see what bubbles to the surface. You will be surprised by those hidden judgments that you have been cultivating during your life. Examine each of them and see if you can remember where it came from.

You weren't born to practice judgment. You learned that along the way. Just remember to forgive yourself and whoever may have passed on those judgments to you. You and they didn't know any better because both of you were taught the same things along the way.

Each of you does the best you can, each step of the way, with what you knew about yourself as you went through your paces. The point is, that you can relearn negative messages about others. You can grow.

Choose not to remain stagnant. With an open mind, you will begin to appreciate all of the delicious diversity that life can offer. It will open new doors of understanding that will lead you to experience the beautiful tapestry of life.

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Davis Aujourd’hui – "Babes in Bucksnort"

by Cathy B Stucker

What is your most recent book? Tell us a bit about it.
I have written a series of hilarious religious satires with a spiritual message. My latest book is entitled Babes in Bucksnort. It is about a naughty nun who teaches classes in Advanced Holiness.

Once again the unconventional bourbon-swilling, chain-smoking nun will spin hilarious tales about the residents of Bucksnort while she tests the will of a reformed prostitute who just happens to be her Reverend Mother.

But there’s trouble brewing in the Snortlands.

The town busybody crusades to stamp out “the gay menace.” That’s when she brings Reverend Billy-Bob Blunthead and his Born Again or Burn Forever Disciples for Jesus to town to do the job. It will be an uphill climb when the closet doors of many gay people burst open.

In between laughs, Sister Mary Olga dispenses nuggets of wisdom during her Holiness Classes. The bottom line is that everyone is welcome in Sister Mary Olga’s classes. Join the diverse cast of zany characters for a joy ride that will tickle your funny bone until it aches.

Tell us something about yourself.

I am the creator of the Sister Mary Olga Fortitude series of religious and social satires. As will be the case with Sister Mary Olga in my next book, I am a recovering alcoholic. I also happen to be gay as are several of the endearing and humorous characters within my novels. I speak from my own experience. I have possessed all of the foibles of my cast of characters, including those naughty, nasty, and nice. I am socially-minded and spirituality is the most important ingredient in order for me to maintain a happy and successful life.

What inspired you to write this book?
I have always loved to write, but I didn’t begin to write full length novels until five years ago after I had taken an early retirement. That’s when I had an inspiration. I remembered the characters of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude and her friends which I’d developed in order to entertain a colleague of mine while I’d been working as a social worker. I thought to myself, I bet I could write a book about these crazy characters! That’s when I sat down and I wrote The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude in a little over a month. The thing was, I had more ideas…so I wrote another. Amazingly I still hadn’t run out of ideas! Over the course of the next four years I have written eleven novels in the series and I have no plans to stop as long as the characters continue to inspire me.

How did you choose the title?
I maintain that we are all children of God. That is where the name Babes comes from. Bucksnort is the name of my fictional town in Wisconsin.

What obstacles did you encounter in getting this book published? How did you overcome them?
While I received much positive feedback from some traditional publishers, they didn’t want to publish the book. Consequently, I chose to self-publish it. My reader reviews have been ecstatic. I hope to obtain a traditional publisher for the next book in the series which is entitled Have A Heart.

How did you know you wanted to be a writer? How did you get started?
Although I have always loved to write, I never dreamed I would have a career as an author. I retired from many years as a social worker. Then I started by writing my memoirs. Following that, I wanted to write more. That’s when I remembered the zany characters I had developed in order to entertain a colleague of mine. I realized that I could write a book about them. One book led to another and I now have a successful career.

Do you have any writing rituals?
I discipline myself by spending many hours each day. Then I spontaneously create my crazy characters and the outrageous situations in which they find themselves involved. It is all a matter of waiting for the inspiration to come. Then I am off to the races.

How do you come up with the names for your characters?
Of course, I had created many of the names when I had entertained my colleague. Otherwise, I just let my imagination lead the way. I try to make the names as funny as the scenarios of my books. Many of the names suggest characteristics that my characters possess. It is all great fun.

Did you learn anything from writing and publishing this book? What?
I learned that inspiration is the key to successful writing. When it’s not there, I simply shift gears and write articles for my blog. As for writing and publishing both, my mantra is to never give up. Dreams do come true.

If you were doing it all over again, what would you do differently?
No! I believe that everything happens for a reason and that it does no good to have any regrets.

What types of books do you like to read? Who are your favorite authors? Why?
I love to read funny books and spiritual books. I love the books of Armistead Maupin who has been an inspiration to me in developing my own series. I also appreciate the zany humor of Carl Hiassen. As for spiritual authors, my favorites include Anthony DeMello, Eric Butterworth, Deepak Chopra, and Eckhardt Tolle.

Are you working on your next book? What can you tell us about it?
The next book in my series is already written and awaiting publication. It is entitled Have A Heart.

Sister Mary Olga is always getting into trouble with her Reverend Mother, a former prostitute. Among a cast of zany characters is a gay cowboy, the town prude and busybody, Priscilla Bunhead, and her hatchet man, the Reverend Billy-Bob Blunthead and his Born Again or Burn Forever Disciples for Jesus. Billy-Bob will be put to the test by an eccentric woman named Cherie Amour who channels a spiritual entity named Ruth. His own past in a closet of shame eventually catches up with him.

Sister Mary Olga finally has to face the music when the Mother Carmen Burana sends her off to Holy Happenings Rehab. Upon her release she joins a twelve-step program called Alcoholics Unanimous while the bawdy Randy Cowboy joins a similar program called Sex Maniacs Notorious.

The book builds to a close with one surprising climax after another. Its strength lies in its original, outlandish humor. The characters, with their hilarious names, are archetypes of the universal human condition. We all have our foibles. This book is designed to make its readers laugh out loud as they look at their own.

What is the best advice you could give other writers about writing or publishing?
Keep perfecting your craft and never give up hope.

Who is the perfect reader for your book?
My books will appeal to anyone who has an open mind, a zest for their spirits, and loves to laugh. They will especially appeal to gay and lesbian readers since many of the deliciously dysfunctional characters within the book are gay. Recovering alcoholics will embrace the outrageous situations encountered by the booze-loving Sister Mary Olga and her Advanced Holiness students. “Recovering Catholics” who do not agree with everything the pope holds to be true will embrace Sister Mary Olga’s unconventional views on Christianity.

Where can readers learn more about you and your book?

They can visit my blog at

They can also visit to look at my rave reviews and to purchase the book which is also available in kindle format.

My Facebook fan page is located at

Monday, June 6, 2011


Whenever you are feeling down and out, there is a solution. Gratitude is the way. By counting your blessings, you will begin to see where life is good. From this perspective, you will begin to attract more blessings your way.

As Esther Hicks says, we live in a vibrational universe. There is a law of attraction at work. When you put out positive thoughts, it will manifest in positive results. When you put out negative thoughts, that will become your experience.

That puts total responsibility on you for creating your own reality. For many, this may be an uncomfortable notion. Many of you unconsciously to cling to things that make you feel bad. The good news is that, when you feel good, you will attract more and more things to feel good about.

It all starts at the thought level. That is why it is so important to remain aware. Every thought becomes a prayer and it is said, “Be careful of what you pray for. You might just get it.”

Years ago, Oprah Winfrey kept a gratitude journal. She was so amazed at the results that she encouraged her audience members to do the same. When you practice an attitude of gratitude and really feel it, you will also be amazed at what will become your experience.

Focus on what is. That will lead you to acceptance. When you can do that, you will be practicing appreciation. That's the most important stepping stone to your joy.

When you can remain in that place of joy, the abundance of the universe will flow to you. That will only lead to more appreciation. You will keep the flow going at an ever-increasing rate.

It's said that it's no good unless you give it away. This can be done in various ways. The most important way in which you can do that is to share your spirit of joy with others. Joy is contagious and will continue to spread outward into the universe like the waves on the ocean.

The other way you can do this is to share your material wealth with others in need. The more you share, the more abundance will flow to you. There is more than enough for everyone. Once again, the important thing is to keep the flow going. As you do this, you will inspire others to come to a place of appreciation. Blessings will flow in many directions.

The bottom line is to maintain that attitude of gratitude. It is the supreme gift you can give to yourself. From there, you can pass on the gift to others. Just remember to remain aware and to practice focusing on the positive. It will reap the results that you deserve.

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

Books and Kindles by Author Davis Aujourd'Hui

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" Book 1 Paperback and Kindle

"Babes in Bucksnort" Book 2 Paperbook and Kindle

NEW-NEW-NEW "Putting the Pieces Together" Kindle Format only $2.99

Friday, June 3, 2011


I did go to a rehab since I realized that my sexual addiction could have placed my sobriety from alcohol in jeopardy. I chose an alcohol rehab that indicated they also dealt with sexual addiction. I would become disappointed that I didn't receive the kind of help I had hoped to receive.

What I did obtain was another thirty days of sobriety from alcohol and my first same period of sobriety from sex. I left rehab feeling depressed, but I now had nearly three months of abstinence from alcohol. I've never had a problem with alcohol since. The way I achieved that grace was by not drinking one day at a time.

AA opened the door to a joyous new way of life for me. Through the program, I developed a network of supportive new friends. I began to learn that I could be even happier without picking up a drink. I focused on sticking with positive influences. It all boiled down to people, places and things. Dealing with my sexual addiction would become the new and continuing challenge. Even so, I was on the road to a new life without bondage to the alcohol addiction that could have easily killed me.

Not drinking was just the first part of my recovery. The larger challenge was, and continues to be, living life on life's terms. It has required an attitude adjustment of maintaining a positive attitude and counting my blessings.

The part of my journey into recovery from sexual addiction began nine months after I stopped drinking. What I've had to do since my recovery journey began has been to deal with my feelings. I've also had to learn how to take care of myself spiritually, mentally, and physically. It's a balancing act and it's not easy.

The twelve step program has given me an outline for living a sober and spiritual life. It has involved letting go of the past, taking a good hard look at what I have needed to work on, making amends to those I have harmed, and developing a spiritual relationship with God. All of this has required work and surrendering my ego in order to allow God to help me with my life challenges. That's a daily act of surrender. I do it with joy. Spirituality is the most important ingredient for me to maintain a happy life.

I don't do it perfectly. As with any twelve-step program, AA provides a framework for making progress rather than perfection. What I have been able to achieve is a life filled with a sense of purpose. I have reclaimed many of my previous interests that I'd let slip away when I had been in the grips of addiction.

Some of these things have been playing the piano, singing, and spending more time with sober friends and family. I've also developed wonderful new interests which have included my writing. None of this would have been possible while I had been in bondage to addiction. It's an example of how God has done for me what I could not have done for myself.

I love my life today! That's not to say that life is easy. It's just that I now have the tools I had been missing in order to deal with life's challenges. I have no regrets about the past. I can see where everything that's happened in my life has served a greater purpose.

Even those things that had seemed terrible had actually been clouds with silver linings which contained hidden blessings. They have brought me to my today and today I am a transforming person who sees life with new eyes. I have self-esteem and, for the most part, I have a positive attitude. All of that comes from the grace I have received. For that, I am grateful!

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

Thursday, June 2, 2011


What happened in the course of the next few weeks was a pure demonstration of God working in my life through this new friendship. My friend gave me so much of the support I badly needed. I, in turn, became a significant person in helping him with his own coming-out process after he had spent so many years in the closet.

Meanwhile I began to have some conflicts on my job as a social worker. I was becoming more assertive and that rocked the boat. I was also confused and hurt that many of my formerly friendly colleagues seemed to be keeping a cool distance from me. When I approached my supervisor to tell her I was in recovery from alcohol and thought I might need to go to a rehab, all hell broke lose.

She went into a rage and she yelled at me, “I'm sick and tired of hearing about your personal problems!” She showed me no sympathy and seemingly turned me into her personal scapegoat for the next month. I'm not really sure what I might have done to provoke the situation, but what ensued played out my history of allowing myself to be a victim.

What I did next undoubtedly exacerbated the situation. I went three levels above her head, appealing to our kind deputy commissioner. She acted as mediator between my supervisor and myself, serving as surrogate supervisor to me during that period of early recovery.

Granted, my own supervisor undoubtedly had cause to take issue with my work at the time. I'd gotten way behind in my paperwork - those endless client assessments, times forty. I also imagine that my second requested leave of absence within my first fifteen months on the job didn't make her life any easier. (I'd had to take an earlier medical leave following a suicide attempt.)

There was another bizarre work-related twist that happened during my first week of recovery. One morning, as I was approaching my workplace, I encountered one of my schizophrenic clients. This was a woman who, in my experience, had always been totally out of touch with reality. She never called me by name and she rarely even said anything at all.

That day she caught me off-guard. In spite of her disheveled appearance, she approached me on the street as if I were an old friend. She appeared to be mentally clear as a bell when she actually spoke to me! She called me by name when she said, “Mister, you seem to be getting better!”

Wow! I felt as if I had entered an episode of the twilight zone. While my supposedly sane supervisor would literally yell at me when I was in the office, surrounded by my colleagues, this supposedly insane client behaved appropriately and could discern I was on the road to wellness.

Author Davis Aujourd'hui