I did go to a rehab since I realized that my sexual addiction could have placed my sobriety from alcohol in jeopardy. I chose an alcohol rehab that indicated they also dealt with sexual addiction. I would become disappointed that I didn't receive the kind of help I had hoped to receive.
What I did obtain was another thirty days of sobriety from alcohol and my first same period of sobriety from sex. I left rehab feeling depressed, but I now had nearly three months of abstinence from alcohol. I've never had a problem with alcohol since. The way I achieved that grace was by not drinking one day at a time.
AA opened the door to a joyous new way of life for me. Through the program, I developed a network of supportive new friends. I began to learn that I could be even happier without picking up a drink. I focused on sticking with positive influences. It all boiled down to people, places and things. Dealing with my sexual addiction would become the new and continuing challenge. Even so, I was on the road to a new life without bondage to the alcohol addiction that could have easily killed me.
Not drinking was just the first part of my recovery. The larger challenge was, and continues to be, living life on life's terms. It has required an attitude adjustment of maintaining a positive attitude and counting my blessings.
The part of my journey into recovery from sexual addiction began nine months after I stopped drinking. What I've had to do since my recovery journey began has been to deal with my feelings. I've also had to learn how to take care of myself spiritually, mentally, and physically. It's a balancing act and it's not easy.
The twelve step program has given me an outline for living a sober and spiritual life. It has involved letting go of the past, taking a good hard look at what I have needed to work on, making amends to those I have harmed, and developing a spiritual relationship with God. All of this has required work and surrendering my ego in order to allow God to help me with my life challenges. That's a daily act of surrender. I do it with joy. Spirituality is the most important ingredient for me to maintain a happy life.
I don't do it perfectly. As with any twelve-step program, AA provides a framework for making progress rather than perfection. What I have been able to achieve is a life filled with a sense of purpose. I have reclaimed many of my previous interests that I'd let slip away when I had been in the grips of addiction.
Some of these things have been playing the piano, singing, and spending more time with sober friends and family. I've also developed wonderful new interests which have included my writing. None of this would have been possible while I had been in bondage to addiction. It's an example of how God has done for me what I could not have done for myself.
I love my life today! That's not to say that life is easy. It's just that I now have the tools I had been missing in order to deal with life's challenges. I have no regrets about the past. I can see where everything that's happened in my life has served a greater purpose.
Even those things that had seemed terrible had actually been clouds with silver linings which contained hidden blessings. They have brought me to my today and today I am a transforming person who sees life with new eyes. I have self-esteem and, for the most part, I have a positive attitude. All of that comes from the grace I have received. For that, I am grateful!
Author Davis Aujourd'hui
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