Diversity Rules Magazine "Babes In Bucksnort" By Author Davis Aujourd'hui

Article appears in "Diversity Rules Magazine" December 2011

Davis Aujourd’hui is the author of the Sister Mary Olga Fortitude series of hilarious satires.


The first book is entitled:
"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude"

The 2nd book is:
"Babes in Bucksnort"

Davis possesses a rich life experience that has enabled him to draw from it in order to create
a colorful canvas upon which to paint very human lives. He is a retired social worker, having
worked for Adult Protective Services in NewYork State for nearly twenty years. He developed
the characters within his series of books in order to entertain a colleague by using the gift
of humor.

As will be the case with Sister Mary Olga in his third book, he is a recovering alcoholic. He also
happens to be gay as are several of the endearing and humorous characters within his novels.
He can speak from his own experience. He has possessed all of the foibles of his cast of characters who are naughty, nasty, and nice.

Davis lives in Upstate New York where he is currently sharing his life with his partner of seven
years. He is socially-minded and spirituality is the most important ingredient in order for him
to maintain a happy and successful life.

Visit this blog for information on the series:
http://bestsatireseriesofthedecade.blogspot.com

Visit this blog for information on the author:
http://authordavisaujourdhui.blogspot.com

"Babes in Bucksnort" is the sequel to "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude".

Once again the unconventional bourbon-swilling, chain-smoking nun will spin hilarious tales about the residents of Bucksnort while she tests the will of a reformed prostitute who just happens to be her Reverend Mother.But there’s trouble brewing in the Snortlands.


The town busybody crusades to stamp out “thegay menace.” That’s when she brings Reverend Billy-Bob Blunthead and his Born Again or Burn Forever Disciples for Jesus to town to
do the job. It will be an uphill climb when the closet doors of many gay people burst open.
In between laughs, Sister Mary Olga dispenses nuggets of wisdom during her Holiness Classes.

The bottom line is that everyone is welcome in Sister Mary Olga’s classes. Join the diverse cast of zany characters for a joy ride that will tickle your funny bone until it aches. David’s blog is
at: http://bestsatireseriesofthedecade.blogspot.com.

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"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude"

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"Babes in Bucksnort"

In Kindle Format for $3.99 Purchase Here!

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AN EXCERPT FROM "The MISADVENTURES of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude"

Speaking of looking up, that brings me to the subject of Sister Samantha's secret. Lord, have mercy! Well now! I was extremely thirsty following my most recent week of penance on my knees in my humble little cell; so, I'd made a hasty visit to Randy Cowboy who was generous enough to give me a half gallon of Jack Daniel's.

I threw caution to the wind and I ducked into cubicle number four where I began to have a few nips. Oh, I must confess the truth. I tied one on! By the time I'd passed out, I'd managed to refresh myself with almost half of that big bottle. Oh my!

Sometime during the night, I must have slipped off the toilet and landed on the floor. I didn't wake up until the following morning; and, I must say, I had quite a headache! I also realized that I had partially slid under cubicle number three; and, I couldn't get up.

Well, wouldn't you know it, the restroom door burst open and I immediately thought that the gig was up. With my luck, I thought that it might be Mother Carmen and that I'd be sent back to my cell for another week of solitary confinement.

Fortunately, God spared me that ordeal and He had sent me an angel. It was Sister Samantha. Of course, I didn't find that out immediately. Let's just say that we both had a big surprise in store!

Well! There I was, with my head under cubicle number three, when I heard Sister Samantha singing Amazing Grace as she entered that very cubicle! Apparently, she was so moved by the Holy Spirit that she didn't even notice my head facing up toward her toilet.

I closed my eyes in reverent prayer just as she was lowering her panties. As she was preparing to sit upon her throne, her habit swished over my face which brought me to attention. I opened my eyes by reflex. Boy, did I get an eyeful and I do mean boy! Sister Samantha wasn't a woman! Lord, have mercy!

Well! It was a rather awkward situation to say the least! I had learned of Sister Samantha's incredible secret. I also needed her help. What could I do, but gently murmur, “Please help me, Sister. I've fallen and I can't get up.”

Let me tell you, Sister Samantha might not have been a woman, but she let out a high-pitched scream that sounded like a woman giving birth. She jumped off her pot and she whooshed her habit off my pleading face. If anyone else could have seen us at that very moment, I'm sure that both of our faces would have appeared beet red.

Well! If either of us had had a blackmailing bone in our bodies, we both would have had sufficient ammunition to use against the other. Suffice it to say, each of us took a higher path except Sister Samantha had the higher advantage at that moment.

Well, that little woman proved to be very strong. She grabbed me under my arms. Then she pulled me right under the partition of cubicle number three and out onto the restroom floor.

Even though I was feeling very shaky, in more ways than one, I managed to get myself up and onto my wobbly legs. Well, what could I say besides, “Thank you;” however, given the situation, it seemed that something else might be in order.

I felt rather like Little Red Riding Hood when she discovered that her grandmama was actually a wolf. The nice thing about my situation was that Sister Samantha wasn't about to eat me up. I decided right then and there that I wasn't going to give her up.

“Sister,” I said. “How did you ever pull it off?”

That's when she told me her story. You see, Sister Samantha just happened to have been born in the wrong body. She was really every bit as much of a woman as myself with one notable exception. God sure works in mysterious ways!

Sister Samantha was the most beautiful child. She was christened “Bobby O'Reilly” and she was her mother's only son. As it had turned out, he was her only daughter too.

Mother and child lived with Bobby's grandmother on the family farm. He was conceived on Christmas Eve and he was born on the harvest moon of the following year. It was a fruitful harvest, in more ways than one! He was his mother's pride and joy as well as being the favorite grandchild of his elderly grandmother. Little Samantha or, should I say, little Bobby was a perfect angel.

On his first day of school, his mother dressed him up in knickers and she sent him off to the Baptist academy in his hometown which was located in a little parish similar to our own. When he returned from school, both his mother and grandmother were in for a big surprise.

Little Bobby had discovered the academy's Good Will clothes closet and he had decided to change his outfit. When he returned to his grandmother's farm, he was wearing a dress, high heels, and he had braided his long locks into a perfect French braid.

Grandma O'Reilly chastened her daughter by exclaiming, “Whatever possessed you to send Bobby to school like that?”

Bobby's dumbfounded mother simply stared at her son and said, “I didn't!”

That was just the beginning. By the time Bobby was in high school, he had run off to the big city and he had started living as a woman. He had the most gorgeous natural female breasts and he began to receive hormone shots that made him the envy of the big city drag queens.

He named himself Samantha Monet and he decided to seek fame and fortune as a female impersonator. With his new female voice, he could hit a high C and he was soon performing in the big city clubs and making big money.

One of his favorite routines involved him dressing as a nun. It only seemed fitting since he had converted to Catholicism and he had decided that, once he'd had a taste of the world, he was going to become a nun. Sister Samantha was a smashing success as she wooed the crowds with her renditions of religious songs that soon won converts to her beloved Savior.

Sister Samantha was planning on having a sex change, but a part of her believed she was born in a man's body to teach the world a lesson in tolerance of those who are different from others. Well! Sister Samantha had already taught me a lesson!

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" is available in Paperback for $13.95 HERE!!!!

Kindle Version is $3.99 and can be purchased HERE!!!

EXCERPT FROM BABES IN BUCKSNORT

Dr. Wally Wacky-Wacko had the unfortunate habit of not keeping good track of his appointments. He didn't have a secretary and the truth of the matter was that he couldn't very well afford one. He didn't exactly have a thriving practice.

Dr. Wally had just finished eating a very potent marijuana brownie for breakfast when the doorbell rang. He didn't have a clue as to who would be calling on him on his day off. He exclaimed out loud to himself, “Whoa! I'd better get my act together!” Then he went to answer the door.

When he opened the door, there before him stood Sister Eileen and Sister Samantha. His eyes bugged out from behind his gold-rimmed granny glasses when he saw them standing there in their black habits. That's when he exclaimed, “What a rush!”

Now! Sister Samantha was rather worldly from her former days, having lived in a gay man's world where she'd been a successful female impersonator. She knew exactly what Dr. Wally had been up to, but she chose to respond by saying, “Yes indeed! We need help immediately!”

The middle-aged man who still looked like a little boy had eyes as big as saucers. He was dressed in faded blue jeans and a fraying plaid flannel shirt. He simply stood before them in a confused daze. He grabbed onto his long, curly, salt and pepper hair that was tied back in a ponytail. For a moment he just stared at them as if he was going to say, “Duh.” Then he took a dizzying step backward as he said, “Ah yes! Won't you come in?”

They entered his home and they followed him into his office which looked as if it hadn't been dusted in two months. His desk was buried beneath piles of paper. The same was the case with a long black leather couch which lay beside a bookshelf that appeared as if it could topple over at any moment. If that would have become the case, it would have pulled down a network of cobwebs just before it would have soundly squished Sister Eileen if she was to have lain upon it.

Dr. Wally just stood in the middle of the room as if he was spellbound. Then he went to the couch and he unceremoniously swept the stacks of paper onto the floor. Finally he turned and gave them an impish smile as he said, “I'm not used to treating two people at the same time. I'm afraid that you'll just have to lie side by side.”

Now Sister Samantha wasn't one to mince words. She declared, “Are you out of your mind? Nuns aren't allowed to lie down together! God only knows where that could lead us! Besides, I'm not the one who needs help! I'll just sit in a chair.”

Then Sister Samantha strolled over to a nearby seat where she picked up a pile of papers. She set them down on the floor as a cloud of dust whirled out of that pile, nearly choking her in the process. As Sister Samantha took her seat, Sister Eileen tried to make her way over the disarray of papers beside the couch without falling. Then she lay down while the doctor sat behind his cluttered desk where he tried to peer at her over the piles of paper that were on it.

“So,” he began. “Just exactly what is the problem?”

Poor Sister Eileen couldn't even see the doctor so Sister Samantha decided to take the bull by the horns. She said, “Sister Eileen hasn't been herself lately. The poor woman can barely put a sentence together and, when she does, she only begins to cry.”

“Ah!” exclaimed the doctor. “I know exactly what to do!” With that said, he fumbled around within his desk drawer and he pulled out three bottles. Then he emptied the contents onto his desk whereupon half of the pills fell onto the floor. “Oops!” he said. Bending over, he picked up the pills one at a time. All the while, each and every one of those pills seemed to mesmerize him. Finally he was ready to continue. “Okay,” he said as he began to pile the pills into an empty bottle. “I want you to take each of these pills three times a day. You should be back to yourself in no time!”

“But doctor,” interjected Sister Samantha. “How's she going to be able to tell the pills apart if they're all in the same bottle?”

“Oh, that's easy,” replied the doctor who held up the bottle for Sister Samantha's inspection. “Each of the pills is a different color.” Then he smiled to himself as he continued to stare at the pills before he exclaimed, “Aren't they beautiful!” Sister Samantha simply rolled her eyes.

Now it was time to go. Poor Sister Eileen struggled to get off the couch while Sister Samantha reached for the bottle. As they made their way out of the shamble of the doctor's office, he opened another desk drawer. With a big smile of anticipation upon his face he pulled out another brownie. He'd need to calm his nerves in case another patient showed up later that day.

When the next evening rolled around, I wondered where Sister Eileen could have been. Randy Cowboy had already dished us up steaming bowls of stew and she was nowhere to be seen. Then I noticed the good sister staggering into the room. Her eyes looked like a couple of glazed donuts while she headed for her seat as if she was sleepwalking. I raised my eyebrows as she took her seat. She nearly fell right off it and onto the floor.

The blessing was offered and I began to eat, but I rarely took my eyes off Sister Eileen. She dumbly tried to raise each spoonful of stew into her mouth, but every second spoonful hit her chin where it dribbled down onto her habit. As I continued to watch, her eyes began to close. That's when I was about to witness the final effects of Dr. Wally's pills. Her head began to slowly circle and, just as she had completed the first full revolution, her face went kerplunk right into her steaming bowl.

I raced from my seat and I pulled her head out of the stew. She had a carrot firmly wedged into one of her nostrils and her mouth had a potato stuffed into it. Enough was enough! It was time for action and this time I would be the one who would accompany her to the good doctor.

The following day I arrived on Dr. Wally's doorstep with a blister-faced Sister Eileen. When the doctor finally answered the door, he took one look at Sister Eileen and he said, “Whoa!”

“Exactly!” I declared. “And the woe shall be unto you if you don't give this sister the right pill!”
“Oh!” he said with eyeballs that were nearly popping out of his head. “Maybe she would like a pretty pink pill. I call it a happy pill.”

I gave him a questioning look before I replied, “That's what we sent her here for the first time. Now just give us the pill and we'll be on our way!”

Well! It wasn't long before Sister Eileen would be swinging from the rafters. She soon announced that she was the Virgin Mary, come down from heaven in order to save the heathens. It was time to go back to Dr. Wally Wacky-Wacko again. That's when Dr. Wally decided that poor Sister Eileen was a manic-depressive and he put her on yet another medication. Shrinkaholics! What would be next?


Author Davis Aujourd'hui

"Babes in Bucksnort" is available in Paperback for $13.95  and can be purchased here!!!
Also, available in Kindle Format for $3.99 and can be purchased here!!!!!

FAITH IS THE ANSWER

There have been so many times in my life when I have been stuck in a cloud of doubt and despair. The conditions of my life have been such that I have often not been able to see my way through. I have struggled when what I really needed to do was to just let go.

The beauty of my unfolding life is that I have discovered I am not alone. So many people I have since encountered have shared a similar experience. Yet they have found a way out of it. They have discovered that faith is the answer. I have also discovered that for myself.

I have had to let go of my fears and embrace a belief in the power in the universe that can and does guide me to a higher place. My own fragile ego has thought it could handle impossible situations. That has never been enough. In fact, it has often led me astray. I have had to learn to trust in the spirit that resides within us all. That spirit can always provide the answer.

It has been a matter of learning to trust in that Source. It has been a matter of turning to it and asking what I can do to prevail. I have had to turn to it for guidance to show me the way to go. As the website, The Divine Speaks, says: I have had to ask where I should go, what I should do, who I should talk to, and what I should say. In so doing, it has taken a tremendous burden off me.

Like a little child, I have had to believe that I can never be guided wrong if I go within to find the answers. This has required me to place my faith in that power greater than myself. By relaxing, breathing, and letting go of my worries, I have been able to see clearly what is mine to do. The rest I have had to turn over to Source to provide the outcome.

It has not always been what I had hoped for. That is the mystery of life. My ego likes to project what the outcome will be. The truth is that my ego doesn't know what best serves my spirit. I am on a journey of discovery that has often led me to unexpected places.

Such has been the case with my writing. I had never expected to be an author. Yet now, I have written a total of thirteen books, two of which have been published. That has been an unexpected miracle in my life. It was the outcome of me asking Source what my life purpose was.

As a young man, I was concerned with being a successful businessman. I wanted to become a millionaire before I was thirty. As I matured, I have learned to become more concerned about my fellow man and woman. I have become a person who has learned to look beyond selfish desires. This has become my primary quest in my writing. I am on a mission to wake up people to their own spirits.

The way I am striving to do this is to show people that joy is the pathway to freedom. My books are designed to make people laugh. They are also designed to make people take a look at themselves and to see how they can become aligned with their intrinsic values. In so doing, they will have the ability to let go of those negative qualities we all possess in order to follow a more positive path.

My character, Sister Mary Olga Fortitude, asks people to follow the Golden Rule: to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. This, in and of itself, is an act of trust and faith. It requires searching within for the answers. Try it. Perhaps you will find the same freedom I have found for myself. That is my wish for each and every one of you.

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

Happy Halloween From Author Davis Aujourd'hui

Cooking up Some Soup!  Do you want a Batch for Yourself?

Have a fun and safe Halloween!

The Hot Author Report - Interview with Author Davis Aujourd'hui

Davis Aujourd’hui is the author of The Sister Mary Olga Fortitude series of hilarious satires. The first book is entitled “The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude.” It was followed by “Babes in Bucksnort.”

Davis possesses a rich life experience that has enabled him to draw from it in order to create a colorful canvas upon which to paint very human lives. He is a retired social worker, having worked for Adult Protective Services in New York State for nearly twenty years. He developed the characters within his series of books in order to entertain a colleague by using the gift of humor.

As will be the case with Sister Mary Olga in his third book, he is a recovering alcoholic. He also happens to be gay as are several of the endearing and humorous characters within his novels. He can speak from his own experience. He has possessed all of the foibles of his cast of characters who are naughty, nasty, and nice.

Davis lives in Upstate New York where he is currently sharing his life with his partner of seven years. He is socially-minded and spirituality is the most important ingredient in order for him to maintain a happy and successful life.

Q: What compelled you to write your first book?

A: Years ago, I called up a friend’s voice mail on a whim and I spontaneously left her an outrageously funny message from a character named Sister Mary Olga Fortitude. My friend loved it and that inspired me to continue to develop characters and to leave her continuing voice mails. Years later, I thought to myself that I could write a book about these delightfully zany characters. This book is the end result, though it is only the first book of many in a series.

Q: Tell us briefly about your book.

Sister Mary Olga is a bourbon-swilling, chain-smoking nun who’s always getting into trouble with the Reverend Mother, a reformed prostitute. The convent’s chef is a gay cowboy. Just watch out for the nasty town busybody named Priscilla Bunhead who is always digging in the dirt. There’s plenty of that for her to find on Dinkledorf Drive in the fictional town of Bucksnort, Wisconsin. There’s a lot of hanky panky going on there!


All of the book’s other diverse and zany characters are delightfully flawed, The scenarios are outrageous. You’ll discover the secret of a transgendered nun under the most unlikely circumstances. You may have never discovered a body in the process of cremation as you tried to bake a cake or bore offspring who made inappropriate digestive noises while playing Baby Jesus in the annual Christmas pageant. Yet you will be able to relate to the human foibles discussed by Sister Mary Olga.


Sister Mary Olga takes the attitude of “to each one’s own.” She pokes fun at the conservative religious and social attitudes of the day. Irreverent and bawdy, this religious satire does have an underlying spiritual message; that is to lighten up and not take life so seriously.

Q: What are you working on at the moment?

A: I’m editing the other books in my series so that they will be well-polished gems just like this first book. I am also in the process of writing the twelfth book in the series and I am trying to get my third book published.


Q: Do you have a favorite character? Why is s/he your favorite?

A: That’s a difficult question to answer. I love all of my characters, especially the nasty ones who make for the delicious conflict within my books. If I had to pick one, it would have to be Sister Mary Olga. She is irreverent just like me. She also faces some challenges similar to my own and she channels spiritual truths that I have come to embrace.

Sister Mary Olga narrates the story and does so with hilarious humor. She is a fresh voice for our times or coming to terms with our spirits. I love the way she mixes humor with nuggets of wisdom. I am grateful that my fans have given me mostly five out of five star reviews. They obviously embrace her.

Q: The main characters of your stories – do you find that you put a little of yourself into each of them or do you create them to be completely different from you?

A: There is a little bit of me in all of my characters. I have already addressed that regarding Sister Mary Olga. Randy Cowboy, the gay chef and self-described sex maniac is much like me. I, too, am gay and have had to face my own sexual addiction from which I am recovering.

Since I have had to face my own dark sides, I can also relate to the prudish and judgmental Priscilla Bunhead. She wears her hair in a tight little bun. I maintain it is so tight that she can’t open her mind. That was a past challenge of my own.


I am also dignified like the eighty year-old Jules Jesslike Pappas. That dear man obtained his name from his simple-minded mother. On the night he was conceived, she had sex with men of two different races. Nine months later, she gave birth to twins of two different races. Jules came out black.

When the nurse held up the baby with the large endowment, his mother took one look at him and thought of his father. That’s when she blurted out, “Jewels just like papa’s.” That’s how he obtained his unusual name.

Q: Is there an established writer you admire and emulate in your own writing?

A: My writing is much like the zany writing of Armistead Maupin. I, like him, have developed a series of books that are based upon the continuing antics of my characters. I greatly admire the man and have faith that my series will be as successful as his.


Q: What about now: who is your favorite author and what is your favorite genre to read?

A: I have several favorite writers who write in the spiritual genre. This is the primary genre in which I read. Some of these authors would be Anthony DeMello, Eckhardt Tolle, Deepak Chopra, and Wayne Dyer.

Q: When they write your obituary, what do you hope they will say about your book/s and writing? What do you hope they will say about you?

A: I hope they will say that I am a person who has come to embrace spiritual truths. I hope they will say I have fostered the spiritual development of the humans while making them wake up to their own spirits. I hope they will say I have done so by making people laugh at themselves and my hilariously funny books.

Q: Is there anything you’d go back and do differently now that you have been published, in regards to your writing career?

A: There is not a thing I would do differently. I believe that everything happens for a reason; that I have written books that speak to the truth of the times. My only regret, if I could pick one, is that I was not patient enough to wait for a traditional publisher to pick up my books. That has created an enormous challenge for me in terms of marketing my books and getting the word out that a delightful series is out there for people to enjoy.

Q: In my experience, some things come quite easily (like creating the setting) and other things aren’t so easy (like deciding on a title). What comes easily to you and what do you find more difficult?

A: Everything about my writing has come easily. It just flows as I allow inspiration to lead me in developing my books. What has been most difficult has been to market my books.

Q: Have you ever had a character take over a story and move it in a different direction than you had originally intended? How did you handle it?


A: Sister Mary Olga takes over the story from beginning to end. That is only natural since she is the main character. As my series moves along, many other characters try to take the lead. I have to rein some of them in so that Sister Mary Olga Fortitude can get out my primary message; that is to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. The challenge is to rise above our human imperfectness as we seek to discover the perfection of our spirits.

Use this space to tell us more about who you. Anything you want your readers to know. Include information on where to find your books, any blogs you may have, or how a reader can learn more about you and writing.

Davis Aujourd’hui is my pen name for the Sister Mary Olga Fortitude series. The first book, entitled “The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude,” was published in October 2008 by Outskirts Press. That was followed by “Babes in Bucksnort” in 2010. I have already completed eleven other books in the series and I plan to keep them coming!


I am a new author, yet I possess a rich life experience that has enabled me to draw from it in order to create a colorful canvas upon which to paint very human lives. I am a former social worker, having worked for Adult Protective Services in New York State for many years. I developed the characters within my series of books in order to entertain a colleague of mine using the gift of humor.


As will be the case with Sister Mary Olga in my third book, I am a recovering alcoholic. I also happen to be gay as are several of the endearing and humorous characters within my novels. I can speak from my own experience. I have possessed all of the foibles of my cast of characters who are naughty, nasty, and nice.

I live in Upstate New York where I am currently sharing my life with mypartner of seven years. We are both socially-minded and our spirituality is the most important ingredient in order for us to be able maintain a happy and successful life. We belong to a transdenominational church which embraces the sacred truths of all religions, especially the teachings of Jesus. This has been a natural outcome from my lifetime search for the meaning of God. It embraces my belief that all people are equally loved in God’s eyes.

My readers can find out more about what my series are about by visiting my blog:
http://bestsatireseriesofthedecade.blogspot.com/


They can also find out more about me and my life challenges by visiting my author blog:
http://authordavisaujourdhui.blogspot.com/

The best place to find my books are at Amazon.com. Here are the links for the first two books in the series:

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude"

"Babes in Bucksnort"

Both of Author davis'Aujourd'hui's Works are available in both Paperback and Kindle Versions.

Be Sure to come and follow Author Davis Aujourd'hui on FACEBOOK!