I had studied classical piano through my teens. My piano mentor's memorial service had been scheduled at my hometown church three days after having become sober. I really wanted to attend, but I was feeling very insecure about going. I was still going through withdrawal from alcohol and I was very shaky - emotionally and physically.
That Saturday morning, I left home for a twelve-step meeting, not knowing if I had the courage to go to that service. When I turned on the ignition of my car, the radio station was broadcasting the very Mozart piano sonata I had played for my teacher on my last visit to her. That spiritual connection gave me the strength to attend; but, not before I attended yet another AA meeting in my hometown just prior to theservice.
I sat with my mother during the service. At one point in the service, I called out from the congregation to the pastor, asking if it would be possible to say a few words. I was later given that opportunity.
I approached the pulpit and I spoke of my spiritual connection to my teacher when I had heard that Mozart sonata on the radio that morning. I spoke of how it gave me the strength to attend even though I felt like I was a “basket case.” I also mentioned that I was in early recovery in a twelve-step program. That action opened the door to an important new friendship for me with the very man of whom I had been terrified as a child, thinking he was gay.
That man was my piano mentor's intimate friend. He guessed who I was when I had gotten up to speak. He'd known me since I'd been ten. The seeming coincidence was that he'd recently found out I was gay from another kindred spirit. That person was the elderly gay man who happened to be sitting with Mom and me. He hadn't heard anything about me since the time I got married and he hadn't seen me since I was a teen. Aside from both of us having studied under our mentor, we now had two other common bonds. We were both gay and he, too, was a recovering alcoholic.
After the service, he sought me out and he invited me to a reception he was holding in his home. He also introduced me to a lesbian friend of his who happened to have been one of my junior high school teachers. That night, he took us both to the symphony. Then I invited them back to my disheveled home for a gourmet dinner, serving it around two in the morning! My life was still unmanageable, but I was starting to experience some very spiritual connections. God was about to do for me what I could not do for myself.
Author Davis Aujourd'hui
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