THROUGH THE OPEN DOOR - PART 7

We spent summers camping all over the northeast and we spent winters on the ski slopes. We truly enjoyed each other's company and we developed some enduring and intimate relationships that sustained us for years. It was a good life. I loved him so!

The years began to roll by as we settled further down into cozy domesticity. We bought our first home and we eventually had two cats and two dogs. Our circle of friends was tight knit and we had a larger circle of acquaintances. Life revolved around home, family, friends, and the bars. Happy hour was a regular part of our daily life.

While ten percent of the general population is alcoholic, it is estimated that more than a third of gay people are. My partner and I had little understanding that we were becoming alcoholics ourselves, but that would become another challenge within our individual and mutual life journeys. Recovery from alcoholism would come to both of us via Alcoholics Anonymous. That is part of my article entitled “Reaching for Recovery – Putting down the Drink.”

We weathered many sobering events over the years. Friends and close family members passed away. We watched in horror as scores of men we had known died from AIDS. We dealt with each other's active addictions and subsequent recovery. We maintained a close bond and were always a huge support to one another. We thought that our relationship would last for a lifetime.

We lived in a conservative gay town where there weren't many social or other outlets for gay people. Eventually our town began to embrace gay pride and we covertly attended those events. We were fortunate that both of our families had been very supportive from the start. They soon embraced us as a couple and included us in all family events.

One of the things of which I am most proud concerning my parents is that they co-founded a local chapter of PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) in my hometown. It became an important support group for other parents of gays who were coming to terms on their way to accepting their gay and lesbian children. Many years later, I beamed with pride when my then elderly parents were honored with a Rainbow Award for their contribution to the gay community. They had come a long way!

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" Book 1
"Babes in Bucksnort" Book 2

"Putting the Pieces Together" Kindle Version only for .99 cents!

Putting the "Pieces Together" is an anthology of a gay man's journey toward self-acceptance. It is a poignant and intimate book chronicling recovery from mental illness, sexual addiction, and alcohol.


Author Davis Aujourd'hui

THE JOURNEY TO SANITY --- Part 1

I always thought that I'd had a happy childhood. Most of it was, but there was trauma too. Some of that was deeply buried and I didn't begin to get in touch with it until I became an adult. Such can often be the case.


I was frequently happy and oftentimes silly. Yet I came to later realize that much of this silliness was a cover-up for a deeper pain. I would often become moody. My moods would swing from high to low and back again. It would be many years before I discovered how dramatic that could become. Much pain would lie ahead for me.

I had a devastating depression when I was twenty-one. I became desperately suicidal. I had never experienced such pain in my life. Fortunately, I didn't do anything stupid, but I didn't seek help. I knew I couldn't handle the pain, but I thought it would be a sign of weakness to reach out for help. I ended up dropping out of graduate school and I thought that I was a failure.

Within a couple of months, I recovered. I went from a tremendous low to a tremendous high where I felt as if I was on top of the world. I returned to my girlfriend in New Hampshire and I began a wonderful new career as a field editor for an academic publisher. I thought everything in my life was fine. I had hope for myself again.

A year later, paranoia set in. I began to fear that I was a fraud and a failure even though I had become one of the top-performing representatives within my company. I was in a state of delusion, but it felt all too real to me.

Within months, I was back on top of the world again. I began to make fabulous plans for my future. I became married and I was quickly promoted. I was on the fast track to becoming an executive at the age of twenty-three. That was when another emotional disaster struck.

I had devastating depression and I became suicidal again. I couldn't function on my job. I'd awaken in the morning in a state of terror and I'd pull the sheets up over my head. I didn't want to get out of bed. I couldn't face another day of sheer panic.

My wife did what I couldn't do for myself. She found me a psychotherapist. That was the beginning of a journey toward sanity that wouldn't begin to fully manifest for another thirteen years.

I separated from my wife as I began to fully accept that I was a gay man. She eventually moved away. More depression followed.


Author Davis Aujourd'hui

SELF-ACCEPTANCE FOR GAY PEOPLE

Times are changing and it is easier than ever to find self-acceptance as a gay person in this country. That is certainly NOT the case everywhere. It's just that we've made many strides since the early days of gay liberation. It's time to celebrate and stop complaining.

Unfortunately for many, it is still an uphill climb. The road to self-acceptance requires a lot of personal effort. This all begins with self-affirmations. Saying to yourself something like the following will be very helpful: I am a beloved child of God. I am worthy of love. I am who I am meant to be. Being gay is good!

I would encourage any gay person who is struggling with their sexuality to work with affirmations on a daily basis. It is the only way to come to a place where you can love and accept yourself. It is also of utmost importance to surround yourself with people who affirm you just as you are.

Sometimes this will mean having to make hard choices. If your family or friends do not accept you, you may need to distance yourself from them. Network and find safe people and safe places who affirm you. Create a new family. Make new friends. Never take on anyone's judgment of you. You are inherently good and were made gay for a reason.

This is one of the reasons I have created my series of books who are filled with gay characters. Some of them also have problems accepting their sexuality, but I place them in situations where they are forced to learn and grow.

My latest book, "Babes in Bucksnort", is especially written to speak to those who do not accept themselves. I have placed characters who would persecute gay people in order to wake you up to the fact that life is not easy, but you can overcome those judgments if you stand strong in your own identity.

Take my nasty town busybody, Priscilla Bunhead, as an example. She recruits the arch conservative Reverend Billy-Bob Blunthead and his Born Again or Burn Forever Disciples for Jesus to do her dirty work. The beautiful thing is that it ends up backfiring on her. The gay people of Bucksnort come out of their closets and band together as they fight for their right to personal dignity.

It also brings support from those who might have been standing on the sidelines before. The straight people of Bucksnort who recognize villains when they see them come out to support their gay brothers and sisters. While they may be different from themselves, they realize that it's only a matter of sexuality that separates them. Deep down inside we all possess the same spirit. We are all human beings.

Life may not be as funny as it is in Babes in Bucksnort, but that doesn't mean that you can't create your own joy. That's what life is meant to be about. The task for you is to accept life on life's terms and to make the most of it. You are the only one who can do it. Go for your bliss!