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Even though I had considered myself to be out of the closet for a couple of decades, I was still locked in a closet of shame. I burst out of that closet once I rejoined SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous). What a feeling of exhilaration I experienced when I could once again walk down the streets of my hometown with my head held up high during a Gay Pride event with my parents.
By that time I was no longer with my partner. We had spent twenty-four wonderful years together, but life tossed me some lemons and I reacted by leaving him. It had also become a case of thinking the grass would be greener on the other side of the fence.
Truth be told, there is no one person who can meet all of our needs. I have since begun to build a life with another younger man from whom I am learning new lessons about becoming more comfortable with who I am. He is someone with whom I can kiss in public and walk down the street of my conservative hometown holding hands.
I am blessed that my former partner and I have remained the best of friends. My new partner has been very accepting of the importance I place upon maintaining a relationship with my first male lover. He had also been a vitally important person with whom I walked into the light of greater self acceptance. Coming out is not a single act. It is a continuing process.
My new partner and I belong to a church which embraces the sacred truths of all religions. It is also a church in which many gay and lesbian people as well as many recovering people attend. This speaks to my latest part of my self-acceptance. I have embraced a loving God who I believe truly loves me. I have come full circle after years of feeling judged by some Christians. Instead I believe in the benevolent and loving Father that Jesus portrayed as recorded in the gospels. As long as I remember this love and practice it within my life, I am free.
Books and Kindles by Author David Aujourd hui (these two below are at a special price on Kindle for $2.99)
"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" Book 1
"Babes in Bucksnort" Book 2
"Putting the Pieces Together" Kindle Version only for .99 cents!
Putting the Pieces Together is an anthology of a gay man's journey toward self-acceptance. It is a poignant and intimate book chronicling recovery from mental illness, sexual addiction, and alcohol.
We spent summers camping all over the northeast and we spent winters on the ski slopes. We truly enjoyed each other's company and we developed some enduring and intimate relationships that sustained us for years. It was a good life. I loved him so!
The years began to roll by as we settled further down into cozy domesticity. We bought our first home and we eventually had two cats and two dogs. Our circle of friends was tight knit and we had a larger circle of acquaintances. Life revolved around home, family, friends, and the bars. Happy hour was a regular part of our daily life.
While ten percent of the general population is alcoholic, it is estimated that more than a third of gay people are. My partner and I had little understanding that we were becoming alcoholics ourselves, but that would become another challenge within our individual and mutual life journeys. Recovery from alcoholism would come to both of us via Alcoholics Anonymous. That is part of my article entitled “Reaching for Recovery – Putting down the Drink.”
We weathered many sobering events over the years. Friends and close family members passed away. We watched in horror as scores of men we had known died from AIDS. We dealt with each other's active addictions and subsequent recovery. We maintained a close bond and were always a huge support to one another. We thought that our relationship would last for a lifetime.
We lived in a conservative gay town where there weren't many social or other outlets for gay people. Eventually our town began to embrace gay pride and we covertly attended those events. We were fortunate that both of our families had been very supportive from the start. They soon embraced us as a couple and included us in all family events.
One of the things of which I am most proud concerning my parents is that they co-founded a local chapter of PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) in my hometown. It became an important support group for other parents of gays who were coming to terms on their way to accepting their gay and lesbian children. Many years later, I beamed with pride when my then elderly parents were honored with a Rainbow Award for their contribution to the gay community. They had come a long way!
"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" Book 1
"Babes in Bucksnort" Book 2
"Putting the Pieces Together" Kindle Version only for .99 cents!
Putting the "Pieces Together" is an anthology of a gay man's journey toward self-acceptance. It is a poignant and intimate book chronicling recovery from mental illness, sexual addiction, and alcohol.
Author Davis Aujourd'hui
