THANK GOD FOR HUMOR! Part 2

Well, you already know what used to be some of my deepest and darkest secrets. By sharing them with you, I am letting go of my shame. They also can't be used as weapons against me since I've already put them out there. That's putting my secrets into the light. Now, the question is, “How did I manage to find a way to lighten up myself?”

That's a good question! I've already talked about taking a self-inventory. That's the fourth step in a twelve-step program - “We took a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” Once I was able to look at my flaws and my assets of character, I was able to appreciate that I have been simply human. What I now need to do is to be responsible for my life. My number one responsibility is for maintaining my own personal happiness. No one or nothing can do that for me except myself. The same is true for any of us.

What's helped me has been to talk to another human being with whom I can trust my conflicts. If they can relate, they can help me put things into perspective. Before long, I feel lighter. Then I'm able to look at something like the fight I may have had with my partner and realize how ridiculous my part in it had been. I had been only getting hung up in my own shit again. Talk about insanity!

Think about all of those times when you were convinced that you were right about something. Just remember, depending on who else was involved, there are always that many different perspectives of a given situation. Isn't it more freeing to leave everyone to their own opinions and not always need to be right? That's a form of letting go. It's also a spiritual principle that will help you maintain your joy.


How about looking back upon those occasions when you developed a resentment and look at your part in it. Did you feel like a victim and then become angry and self-righteous? God knows how many times I have done that in my past!

As I've said in “I am my characters,” my characters are based upon those aspects of light and darkness within myself and what I've observed within others. The problem is that, when I focus on other people's shortcomings, I am making a negative judgment. As I've said before, I am also looking at something with which I need to look at within myself.

As I've created my characters and their exaggerated character defects, I am hoping that you will begin to see where you have possessed some of these same attributes yourself. If you can laugh at my characters' antics, you should have the capacity to laugh at your own. That will be your pathway to freedom. It will be your pathway back to your joy.

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" (book 1)
Paperback Edition $13.95 Purchase Here!
Kindle Version $3.99 Purchase Here!

"Babes in Bucksnort" (book 2)
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Kindle Version $3.99 Purchase Here!

We all Need Some Humor in our Lives! I hope you enjoy!

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" by Author Davis Aujourd' Hui

THE EAGERLY ANTICIPATED SISTER MARY OLGA SEQUEL IS OUT!

Fans of "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" have said, “We couldn't put it down! When it was all over, we wanted more. We can't wait for the next book in the series!”

Fortunately, you won't have to wait long. The sequel to Misadventures is out. Whether or not you've read Misadventures, you'll be able to dive into the deliciously zany new tales without missing a beat.. Of course, you'll undoubtedly want to back up and read the first book, so that you can find out what outrageous stories have come before. Let me tell you a little bit about the new book.

"Babes in Bucksnort" is the sequel to the highly praised "The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude". Once again the unconventional bourbon-swilling, chain-smoking nun will spin outrageously funny new tales about the residents of Bucksnort, Wisconsin while she tests the will of a reformed prostitute who just happens to be her Reverend Mother.

Unfortunately there is trouble brewing in the Snortlands. The nasty and notorious town busybody, Priscilla Bunhead, goes on a crusade to stamp out what she calls the gay menace. That's when she convinces her millionaire friend, Mildred Mayflower, to give away her fortune in order to bring the Reverend Billy-Bob Blunthead and his Born Again or Burn Forever Disciples for Jesus to town to do the job. It will be an uphill climb for them as the closet doors of many gay people in the Snortlands burst open.

Billy-Bob and his wife, Pinky Poo, will have another battle on their hands when Dimples Dufus, the heiress to the Mayflower fortune, arrives on the scene. They'll also have to reckon with a mysterious woman who channels an entity who challenges the hateful and hypocritical agenda of this spokesman for Jesus.

In between the laughs, Sister Mary Olga continues to dispense nuggets of spiritual wisdom during her classes in Beginner's and Advanced Holiness. Just don't take seats near the flatulent child named Fartley Dinkledorf or his lecherous one-hundred five year-old grandfather, Poopsy. The bottom line is that everyone is welcome in Sister Mary Olga's classes. Join the diverse cast of characters for a joy-ride that will tickle your funny bone until it aches.

Look for "Babes in Bucksnort" through Amazon.com. In the meantime, I am polishing up the next books in the series. Sister Mary Olga promises to be with you for one home run after another.

HUMOR IN MY LIFE - Part 3 - "The Party's Over"

Yes, there's nothing like a night of pure intoxication with which to create an evening of insanity! Let me tell you about one of the most bizarre evenings that my first male partner and I have ever experienced.

It began innocently enough when we ran into a new friend at a saloon during happy hour. He invited us to go with him to a work-related party, located in a small village some twenty miles away. Having had nothing to eat – not an unusual occurrence for us - we left for the party, already nicely lubricated.

It was a very boozy affair and we all got extremely drunk. The party hostess was not a lady! She could drink like a man. She was also extremely crude and she had the audacity to come onto me. Given my history as a sex addict, who I was in any position to cast judgments around lecherous behavior? Nevertheless I didn't appreciate her attention!

What followed only provoked a resentment on her part. After not succeeding with me, she put the moves on my bewildered partner. When he, too, rebuffed her advances, she finally saw “the light” through her own alcoholic haze! That's when she ordered the three of us to leave the party.

She hurled angry, homophobic, and vile slurs at us. As intoxicated as we were, we made a hasty exit! I was at the point where I was weaving in and out of consciousness, but I took the driver's seat and we hightailed it out of there.

Driving dangerously fast on a two-lane country highway, I nearly drove off the road as I swerved to avoid an oncoming car. I barely avoided the roadside ditch, as I drunkenly struggled to maintain control of the car. By the time we had reached the city's outer limits, our bladders had also reached their limits. That's when we stopped at a mall to find restrooms. Innocent or not, “the fun” had only just begun.

The rest of the evening proceeded into even more insanity. I picked a fight with my partner, raging at him over something I can't even remember. I stormed off on foot with the intention of walking the remaining seven miles home as I drunkenly staggered down the side of the busy nighttime street.

Unfortunately for my partner, our friend hadn't returned from the bathroom. My poor, bewildered partner didn't know what to do when he'd unsuccessfully tried to find him. What he had known was that he was too drunk to drive. He did the only logical thing. He lay down in the car and took a nap.

In the meantime I'd managed to weave and wobble about three long miles on foot by the time my partner pulled the car alongside me. Unfortunately our friend had disappeared into the dark of night. I argued with my partner, but he finally convinced me to get into the car and we drove home, without further incident, where we promptly passed out in bed.

Around three o'clock in the morning, the phone awakened us from our stupor. It was the police. That's when we learned what had become of our friend. They told us they had arrested him. Sometime after midnight, he'd been caught by the police as he had been running down a city street as naked as the day he'd been born. They wanted us to come down and bail him out! That proved to have been our just dessert for not having had supper. Of course, the drinking hadn't helped! Only time would reveal more of the same before we found our way to a more serene and sane life.

Author Davis Aujourd'hui
"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" (1st in a series of books to come)

Humor in my Life - Part 5

My first summer after college, I sold encyclopedias door-to-door. It became an exercise in humility. Not too many people appreciated having their dinners interrupted by a door to door salesman.

My day would start off by meeting with the other salespersons and their respective managers. We would then be driven to small towns located anywhere within a one hundred mile radius of my hometown. An appointed pickup spot, almost always a bar, would be given to each of us - what an ideal pick up point for a budding alcoholic! Then I was off on my own with my briefcase loaded with samples, knocking on doors where I hoped to get in to give my pitch. Hours later the sales manager would pick us up and drive us back to the office.

I did make some sales, but I often fell short of my weekly quota. The days were filled with endless walking and lots of rejection, though I was usually able to get into at least one or two houses a day to give my sales pitch. The one pitfall in the workday was that I often was not picked up at the appointed time. Consequently I'd feel obligated to buy myself drinks while waiting it out at the designated bars; not that that bothered me, mind you! This was acceptable behavior to management who often would reward us with boozy parties back at the office.

One night, while peddling my wares in a neighboring county, I made a sale. The one snafu was that my prospects objected to the amount of the sales tax, stating the sales tax was lower in their county. I told them I'd have to consult with my manager about reducing it and that I would return later in the evening. As it happened, this was one of those nights when I was stranded for hours at the designated pickup spot.

I sat on my bar stool next to a very friendly, elderly Italian man who kept buying me drinks – boilermakers! Well, I didn't have a good tolerance for beer and, with that added shot of whiskey, I quickly became very drunk. The “kindly gentleman” seemed to become extremely entertained and he just kept buying me more. People-pleaser that I was, I couldn't be impolite by refusing them, even though my head began to spin and I seemed to be fading in and out of consciousness.

Some hours after the designated pickup time, my sales manager finally showed up. He was also wildly drunk and, even though it was early in the morning, he insisted we go back to close my sale. We arrived at my prospect's home, but the lights were out. That didn't deter my determined sales manager. He started shouting toward their bedroom from the driveway. The disgruntled husband appeared at the bedroom window and curtly stated, “If you want the sale that much, come back tomorrow!”

My head was still spinning when we arrived back at the office, but I had to get home, right? So, I staggered to my car and I somehow managed to stay on the road for that drunken drive home. The next morning I awoke with a terrific hangover. There was no way I could even raise my head up, so blinding was my headache.

My mother showed me no sympathy as I groaned from my bed. I also knew there was no way I was going into my job that day or on any other day for that matter. I'd had enough! I quit my job and thus ended my door-to-door sales career. Fortunately or not my drinking career had only just begun!

Humor in My Life --Part 10--Bowel Fumes

Dementia can be a sad thing, but it does contain dozens of humorous moments. Such was the case with the “bowel fumes” lady who I'll call Emma Mae.

Emma Mae had a strange delusion that her upstairs neighbors were sending what she called bowel fumes down into her apartment. Perhaps it was the industrious and flatulent little boy from my book, The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude. He was named Fartley Dinkledorf.

Fartley was well-named. He took a perverse pleasure in passing gas. God only knows, Emma Mae, had an extremely sensitive nose and she smelled farts wherever she went within her apartment.

Poor Emma Mae! This little old lady who would weave and wobble around in her high heels and negligee didn't have a clue. She was going to be headed to the Sunnyside of the Street Adult Home. That was a place where they knew how to deal with happy wanderers.

Emma Mae would frequently put herself at risk because she would wander from her apartment and get lost. At least, there were few bowel fumes in the fresh air of the outdoors. Just wait until the day that I came to fetch her to move to her new home. Emma Mae had another plan in mind!

When that day came, I asked Emma Mae where her suitcase was. She demurely answered, “Give me a few minutes to finish packing.” Then she left me on her deck while I patiently waited.

Minutes ticked by and I began to wonder what had happened to Emma Mae. I called out to her, but there wasn't a response. Upon investigating, it appeared that she had left the premises.

I walked out onto the deck where I caught a glimpse of her disappearing into the forest behind her building, dressed only in a nightgown. I hightailed it after her, but she had the advantage. She was on a mission to disappear into the cloak of the forest.

I vainly searched in the woods for a half an hour before I gave up. It was now time for me to take some definitive action. I called the cops.

They took me very seriously when I told them about how Emma Mae easily became lost. Not five minutes later, a helicopter was circling overhead. Poor Emma Mae! She was finally spotted down by the railroad tracks. Perhaps she thought that she was going to jump on a train.

I met the police who had caught up with my damsel in distress. It was now time for Emma Mae to head for the sunny side of the street.

I only saw Emma Mae one more time. By then, she didn't recognize me any more. She had still been up to her old tricks, trying to escape from Sunnyside every chance she got. That was all right. Sunnyside was used to these types of antics. She never got very far.

Emma Mae had finally gotten over her delusions about bowel fumes. She had also long forgotten the helicopter episode. Perhaps I had her mysterious neighbors in mind when I created the character of Fartley Dinkledorf.

That makes for hilarious reading when you tickle your fancy with Misadventures.

I AM MY CHARACTERS - - Part 2

Okay, you might say. How am I like my books' characters? That's a good question and it has a relatively simple answer. Just like my characters and like anyone else, I have a light side and a dark side. The dark side is that part of myself that I have possessed from which I have frequently tried to run or to deny. The truth can be scary and who likes to have to work at change? That can be scary too!

For those dark aspects of which I've been aware, I've often found myself judging them within others or only to find that they usually boomerang on myself. When I've done so, I've denied the love within me. This is when it's been so important for me to practice self-forgiveness. It's also served as an opportunity to learn from my mistakes, make my amends to anyone I've harmed, and to do better the next time.

When I have come to a place of acceptance around what's been my dark side, I've found that humor is a wonderful way to let go of judgment. After all, I was created perfectly imperfect just as we all are. I am human and I have created characters that are oftentimes contain exaggerations of human imperfections.

Then again, I have encountered a few Priscilla Bunheads in my life. I, too, have been capable of being as nasty and judgmental as she invariably is. I've also loved to give the impression that I'm perfect. Trust me, I'm no saint! The ironic flip side of perfectionism is shame. As you read more of my Sister Mary Olga books, you'll begin to understand where Priscilla's shame comes from.
Certainly I'd prefer to believe that I'm the perfectly holy version of Sister Mary Olga when she teaches her lessons in Advanced Holiness. On the other hand, she is all too human too. She obviously has a problem with alcohol and is addicted to her Marlboros. Well, I once drank alcoholically and I'm currently letting go of an adult lifetime addiction to cigarettes. Letting go of old friends like booze and cigarettes is not an easy thing to do. Yet I don't want to be a slave to them anymore.

I had my last drunk on April 5, 1988. The very next day, I attended my first AA meeting. There I encountered a host of people who seemed so happy. I desperately wanted to find that happiness for myself. What I had to discover for myself is that there's nothing or no one outside of myself who can make me happy. Happiness has to come within. In order to find it, I had to dig deep and do a lot of work on myself. It wasn't easy, but it was worth the effort.

I came to find my way there as I practiced the twelve steps within that program, reaching out for help from others and from God. In time, I was able to help others who wanted the same thing for themselves. It's said that it's no good unless you give it away. Jesus also said it's more blessed to give than to receive. The truth of the matter is that there's a tremendous amount of joy that comes from giving.

That leads to another spiritual principle that Sister Mary Olga would embrace. Her basic notion is that, if everyone followed the Golden Rule, there would be no need for any other commandments; that, very simply, is to do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
This brings us back to the principle of practicing love within our lives rather than letting the judgmental aspect of our egos rule our lives. None of us is any better or worse than anyone else. The challenge is to relate to each other rather than to focus on our differences. Underneath it all, we are the same – spirit contained within different bodies who possess different personalities.

I AM MY CHARACTERS - Part 3

Woe to many of the characters in Bucksnort who are trying to teach you and me continuing lessons about letting go of the ego. Even Sister Mary Olga has her challenges. It often seems that those challenges are what lead her to kiss her bourbon-filled crucifix. God knows, that I used to view challenges as struggles. That's when I would become stressed and I would turn to my addictions or other inappropriate behaviors to act out the underlying uncomfortable feelings that I didn't want to experience.

Speaking of addictions, let me tell you about one of the characters with whom I most closely relate. That would be Randy Cowboy. He's the physical ideal of who my formerly insecure self wanted to be. Once I let go of my insecurities, I actually realized a semblance of that ideal as I came to a place of acceptance. As is Randy, I am gay. He embraces his sexuality with a fervor. It took me a long time to become comfortable with my sexuality. Yet I don't let it define me. It's just another, albeit important, part of who I am.

I, too, share Randy's challenge of sexual mania. My primary addiction has been to sex. You could also say that it's been a toxic bond to my shame. I will write another article in which I will go into depth about it. For now I will simply say that it's been the most painful and challenging addiction from which I have sought recovery. I'm still challenged by it, but I've learned how to be more gentle with myself when I have temporarily lost my way. I don't give up as I once did many years ago.

As for my other characters, I have shared the challenge of prejudice and oppression that Jules Jesslike Pappas has faced. I have been irascible like the ornery Martha Mayhem. I've been a bit of a tyrant who has liked to think that I can control others such as Priscilla Bunhead continues to practice with the insecure females of Bucksnort. I can relate to them as well. I've tried to mold myself into a figurative bunhead in my past. For so many years, I denied my true sexuality while I tried to pretend that I was something I was not. It was all about pleasing others and wanting to be what they expected of me.

I may not seem to be much like the luscious Lucy Lovely or the forthright Sister Samantha. Even so, they represent individuals from whom I've learned by affirming and mirroring the positive aspects of themselves. You may find it hard to believe, but there's a little bit of the manipulative and demanding Lula Mae Bunsaplenty within me. Yet I've managed to let go of so many of those behaviors over the years. Thank God, I can look at them now and laugh! That's a key to freeing oneself to bondage to the past and it's also a mark of self-forgiveness.

One by one, I have possessed the dark and light sides of each of my characters to greater and lesser degrees. That just seems to be part of the cycle of balance within life. Fortunately I've managed to let go of many of my character defects as I have practiced a more spiritual life. Without having done so, I would be in no position to channel Sister Mary Olga's Advanced Holiness lessons.

Of course, it's not just the lesson that's important. What matters is to practice what one learns or what one preaches. That's what leads to a sense of wholeness or what Sister Mary Olga would call holiness. It comes from leading a life based upon love and forgiveness. Hopefully we'll all wake up to that reality one day and lead congruent lives based upon those spiritual principles. If we do so, we will realize peace on earth and good will toward our fellow men and women. Now wouldn't that be a wonderful miracle!