Soon thereafter, I met a woman who helped me understand my experience. She had been immersing herself in the writings of Jane Roberts, a medium through whom a spiritual entity named Seth spoke. While Jane was in a trance, Seth would speak through her about the nature of spiritual reality.
Upon reading her books, I was easily able to absorb every word of those teachings as spiritual truths. So many of the things I hadn't previously understood were suddenly put into perspective. I came to accept that we are each part of a larger soul, called an Oversoul, which is the culmination of each of our individual incarnational experiences. Suddenly everything I had previously questioned began to make sense.
I had seen that life was not fair even though I liked to believe that God was fair. I now came to understand that we are each given a chance through multiple lifetimes to learn all of the lessons we need to learn in order to perfect our souls. Whatever we didn't learn or whatever desire we didn't get to experience within any given life, we would be given another chance.
That spoke to me of a sense of fairness that explained all of the seeming inequities of life. It also gave me a motivation to begin to work on my spiritual self. As my life would have it, that spiritual quest would begin to be put on hold as I allowed myself to be drawn further into various addictions which only served to separate me from my spirit. Now I can see where all of it was intended to bring me to my today and to serve a Higher Purpose.
Even in the haze of addiction, I did not stop my spiritual quest. With great interest, I read the books of Shirley MacLaine's own spiritual journey while I explored other New Age teachings. I also began to explore some Eastern spiritual philosophies. As I did so, I began to keep a journal. Occasionally I, too, would write poems or essays that seemed to come from another place. They certainly didn't come from my intellect or my ego!
The challenge I had every step of the way was that my ego would invariably get in the way. To further stunt my spiritual development, I had begun to develop more and more of a pattern of engaging in behaviors that were increasingly toxic to myself. The worst part was that these behaviors inflicted pain on those I most loved. I was living a double life as an addict and I was increasingly losing touch with my spirit.
Author Davis Aujourd'hui