Tuesday, October 4, 2011


Here I was, back in recovery and just in the nick of time. Major life-changing events would begin unfolding over the course of the next one and a half years that could have shaken me to the core without support system. More importantly I had found my way back to a place of faith.

I realized that God was working a miracle within my life when he removed sexual obsession and desire from within me. More and more, I shifted my focus outward when it came to dealing with my own problems. By being of service to others and helping them with their problems, it helped me get past my own. It also awakened me more and more to my spirit and to a sense that there was a reason for everything that happened within my life and the lives of others.

As I have told you in my previous article, my recovery was not perfect. Slips happened, but they were few and far between. In the meantime, my partner was becoming more aware of the significance of my addiction and that it was not about him. Consequently he became more supportive which enhanced my sense of well-being. That was also a consequence of me becoming more honest and aligned with the values of my spirit.

I faced the deaths of my two dogs and the death of my best friend and I remained essentially sexually sober. I grieved during the final stages of my friend's illness, but I was at peace upon his passing. I was also with him when he took his last breath. I did not need to cry. I had faith that he was in a better place. It felt so spiritual to see him look me in the eyes with a sense of acceptance just prior to him taking those final breaths.

In the course of the next year, I faced my own life-threatening diagnosis, the end of a twenty-four year relationship, moving into a new home, suddenly being unable to work and coming close to death. This all happened just after starting a new relationship with a younger man.

Even so, I felt a tremendous sense of peace. Despite a lifetime of incredible emotional pain, I felt as if my life was complete. It's not that I had a death wish. I had a desire to do so much that would be of help to others. That desire was what ultimately saved me as I regained my strength and help with a lot of support from caring people. It's just that most of those who cared for me were not the friends who I would have thought to have been there.

In the case of two of the persons who helped me find healing, I hadn't even known them at the point I'd received my diagnosis. God placed people in my life at exactly the right moment in time. I can now see that He indeed had an ongoing purpose for my life. That would be for me to discover. Discover it, I did!

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

"Putting the Pieces Together" by Davis Aujourd'hui
Available in Kindle Format for .99 cents and can be purchased here !

(Putting the Pieces Together is an anthology of a gay man's journey toward self-acceptance. It is a poignant and intimate book chronicling recovery from mental illness, sexual addiction, and alcohol.)

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