Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Through the Open Door - Part 3

I spent the next few months living with an openly gay man who was obviously a full blown sex addict. Between the two of us, we literally had a revolving door through which multiple sexual partners came and left every week. It was an exciting time for me, but there would be decisions ahead that would need to be made. I would need to decide what to do when my leave of absence was over. I would also need to decide what to do about my marriage.

I was offered a transfer by the publishing company and I turned them down. I wanted to stay in the area. I decided to get my real estate license and embark upon a new career. I moved back in with my wife to give it another try, but I soon met another man with whom I began another love obsession. It would be the beginning of the end of my marriage.

His name was Rick and he was stationed in the Air Force. Because neither of us had a place to go where we could be intimate, we maintained an affair of the heart. We would meet at the gay bar where we would dance and kiss only to have to go back to our respective homes at the end of the evening. During the days, we would talk on the phone. We had both fallen in love.

My wife bravely endured what had become a battered marriage, but that endurance would only be able to be maintained for so long.  As the summer drew to a close, I was absolutely beside myself with my feelings for Rick and the desire to consummate our relationship. I finally proposed a tryst at our apartment while my wife was at work. Rick consented and I was delirious that I would finally be able to take our relationship to the next level after a summer of yearning for Rick.

The pitfall in my plan was that my wife didn't go into work on the day of our scheduled meeting and I couldn't reach Rick by phone to forewarn him. At that point I felt such a sense of desolation and longing. I also realized that I wanted Rick more than I wanted to remain in the marriage. I told my wife of my plans to have Rick over and then I hurriedly left our apartment.

I ran up the entry road to try to signal Rick before he drove into a situation that would cause him embarrassment. He saw me and he pulled into the adjacent Pizza Hut where I explained the awkward circumstances and I expressed my desire to somehow try to meet some other time. I felt such an awful ache when he looked at me with his sad, beautiful brown eyes and told me he couldn't go on like this. He advised me that he would rather not see me again. When I returned to the apartment, my wife had rented a U-Haul trailer and proceeded to move out.

I never did see Rick again. On the other hand, my wife and I still had some sorting out to do. We saw each other several times over the ensuing months during which we nursed the hope that we could make a go of our marriage. I realized this probably would not possible at the same time that other unmanageable events began to take place within my life. I was soon lost in another suicidal depression and had to stop work. I took the only viable option at that time. I moved back home with my parents.

Author Davis Aujourd'hui

Books and Kindles by Author David Aujourd hui (these two below are at a special price on Kindle for $2.99)

"The Misadventures of Sister Mary Olga Fortitude" Book 1
"Babes in Bucksnort" Book 2

"Putting the Pieces Together" Kindle Version only for .99 cents!

Putting the Pieces Together is an anthology of a gay man's journey toward self-acceptance. It is a poignant and intimate book chronicling recovery from mental illness, sexual addiction, and alcohol.

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